A Dragon Named Ron
by FlowerintheDark
Summary: Harry and Hermione are thing and Ron isn't happy. So, Ron is going through a sort of 'mid-life crisis.' Ron makes his life decision overnight in a implusive burst, and this time Harry and Hermione aren't happy.
1. Ron

Ron stomped into the common looking a crazed demon that erupted from Dolores Umbridge's nightmares. He heard that Harry fancied Hermione, and the feeling was mutual! He sat down by the fire and pictured Harry face melting into oblivion. He normally would do that when he was upset with Harry. He heard footsteps coming towards him. He expected to see Harry or Hermione coming to nag at him for putting the doll house jinx on Snape's office. Oddly enough it was Seamus.

"Hey mate." Seamus replied looking cheerful.

"Hey arse-face." Ron replied bitterly. Seamus stopped in his tracks and asked sounding very mediocre to Ron's attitude.

"Is it Harry?" Ron tossed his potions essay into the flames carelessly. Seamus frowned knowing Ron had obviously failed…again.

"It's a wonder how you passed your OWLs!" Seamus commented joining him on the couch.

"I guess, and what does it matter? I'm not joining the Ministry of Magic." Ron snapped frowning at Seamus' idiotic remark.

"I guess so...but what will you become?" Seamus asked with fake curiosity hoping to lighten the Demons' mood a fraction.

"I already got accepted into a college." Ron remarked dryly. Seamus nearly fell off the arm of the couch in shock.

"WHAT! A Muggle college?" Ron rolled his eyes and pulled out a campus brochure with fatigue written all over his face.

"I'm going to go St. Darren's College for Breeding & Raising Dragons." Ron informed him looking much older and more mature than usual.

"I don't believe it. Weasel King is going to raise dragons." Seamus muttered studying the brochure intently.

"Yup, I'm in charge of the Welsh Green and Chinese Firebolt." Ron grinned happily. In shock Seamus dropped the brochure mostly because Ron seemed to _understand_ this stuff.

"Where is the College?" Seamus wondered, imagining Ron becoming muscular like his older brother Charlie. Seamus grew anxious.

"Around Nigeria or Siberia…I reckon." Ron replied knowing that Dragon Raising was a risky gamble but he wanted to finally put his life in danger. A cautious life didn't seem fulfilling.

"Ron, Nigeria is in Africa and Siberia is in the North. That's two different climates and two different languages to learn." Seamus pointed out hoping Ron would see sense and quit this at once.

"I got that covered," He handed Seamus his scores on his entrance exam. "I'm already packed for this, Seamus. This is goodbye." Ron answered seriously. And oddly enough Seamus knew it was true because Ron aced the Entrance Exam to one of the best Dragon Raising Colleges in the Wizarding World. Seamus felt like he would cry.

*The Next Day around Lunch Time*

"RONALD WEASELY!" Hermione screeched running into the Common Room. Ron knew she heard Seamus' gossiping, but it turned out different.

"Why aren't you stuffing your face?" She demanded Ron blinked a couple times to adjust to her question.

"I'm not hungry Hermione." He replied innocently. She gasped and looked horrified as she slammed her palm to his forehead.

"Are you sick? I heard a virus was going around!" She saw books open and paper all over the coffee table and Rosetta Stone for Nigerian installing on Ron's computer.

"This must be serious!" She exclaimed her face turning sheet white. "Ronald, you're studying."

Ron who had been quite comfortable in his little Nigerian world was now annoyed with Hermione. He noticed that Hermione was genuinely worried. Somehow that annoyed him.

"Hermione, go down stairs and eat all you like," Ron paused to control his anger. "I will study to prepare for my future, thank you."

Hermione looked appalled and scampered like a frightened mouse down the corridor. Ron felt bad for yelling at her, but he needed to study. Chinese Fire bolts were nasty little buggers if you didn't handle them correctly…which was often. So Ron began rereading Charlie's notes on them.

"Hey Ron," _FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE POTTER!_

"Hey Harry, nice day isn't it?" Ron replied in a cheery tone that masked his overwhelming annoyance and anger. Harry grinned obviously oblivious to Ron's powerful desire to murder The Boy Who Lived.

"Great eh, so Hermione and I were wondering… if you would like to go to Honeydukes for some sweets. It's on us." Harry bargained. Ron almost said yes and ran out the door but his Rosetta Stone finished installing with a ding.

"Sorry mate maybe next time. I have to piece together my future." _And my body parts…soon enough_.

Harry stood there gaping as Ron kicked up his feet onto the coffee table and began learning how to say Hello in Nigerian. He didn't even notice Seamus walk in or Harry walk out. Unlike his visitors in the past five minutes Seamus simply sat on an arm chair and read the Daily Prophet occasionally frowning at certain articles. Ron soon felt as if his poorly developed brain would burst so he felt like some conversation with Seamus. Oddly enough Seamus began talking as soon as Ron looked up to begin speaking.

"Hey, how's Nigerian working out?" Seamus inquired highlighting certain articles with his wand. Ron smiled glad that Seamus didn't blab to the world about St. Darren's.

"Great, I'm pretty good at Egyptian so it's coming along really well." Ron smiled feeling relaxed, and Seamus nodded finally lowering The Daily Prophet.

"So, when do you leave?" Ron felt himself stiffen with a twinge of anxiety. He let out his breath and answered.

"In two weeks." Seamus attempted to smile, but failed knowing he could not compare to Ron's planning.

"Wow, so soon. Harry and Hermione don't even know." Seamus remarked hoping Ron would tell them soon. Before they see Ron eventually vanish and twenty years from then they'll hear:

"_Reporting Live from Nigeria: A boy named Ronald Weasley was mauled by a Chinese Fire bolt…"_

"What's your plan Seamus?" Ron inquired expecting to hear something like: taking over Borgin and Burke's, or opening a chocolate shop to attract women.

"I'm becoming an Auror." _They say I'm going to die?_ Ron resisted gaping and grinned happy for his friend going after the unachievable just like him.

"Great job mate." Then Harry and Hermione stomped in looking furious. Seamus scampered to the Boy's dormitory.

"Ron what's going on?" _Lord, give me strength…and incredible speed and ability to dodge flying spells/objects._

"Well—" Ron began but then Seamus began parading down the stairs shouting _PARTY, PARTY! _Girls scurried after them including Ginny with her new—protective—boyfriend Jiminy.

"Come on, you twits let's play spin the bottle!" Ron was face to face with Lavender Brown who was going first. He held his breath and the bottle spun.

And spun

And spun

And landed on Dean Thomas

Soon they were watching a make-out session going on over Ron's head. He handed the bottle to Hermione. It landed on Harry and more snogging…soon enough it landed on Ron.

"Sorry mates, Ron's going to snog dragons in Siberia!" Seamus shouted gleefully.

"Nigeria." Ron corrected, Hermione broke apart from Harry and screeched with the power and pitch of a banshee.

"RONALD WEASLEY!"

The chair was on the floor and Ron was nowhere to be seen.


	2. Transylvanian Desserts

*Three Days Later*

"Weasley, what are you doing under my desk?" Snape muttered seeing Ron hiding in ball under Snape's desk. He looked up with horrified blue eyes.

"Sir…?"

"Yes Weasley I am older then therefore you call me Sir." Snape muttered obviously annoyed with Ron's words.

"I'm hiding." Soon enough he was sitting outside Snape's door rubbing his sore behind. He didn't know what to do.

**Just tell them.** Whispered that little voice in the back of his head, oh yeah, his conscience. The thing that Hermione always said he should listen to. He walked coolly down the corridor feeling oddly mature and observant.

"Wow Ron looks so serious." Whispered Angelina to Katie Bell, Ron watched them closely as he lounged on a stray bench.

"Yeah, I feel bad that he doesn't know about Harry and Hermione dating." Katie whispered sadly. Ron froze keeping his face cold and emotionless.

"They've been dating for a year Katie, get over it." Angelina snapped and they scattered away muttering something about Three Broomsticks.

Hermione…Hermione Jean Granger…the girl he hated and loved. She broke his heart.

Harry…Harry James Potter…his best friend who tore him to pieces.

They fell in love with each other. He was angry and hurt. Ron felt his eyes water in sadness. Harry lied to him, when he kissed Ginny then lied when he moved to Hermione.

Ron was crushed. Harry lied to him…for a whole year.

"Hey Ron." Ron tensed expecting Harry and/or Hermione, but it was Neville.

"Hey Neville, what going on, are you looking for Harry?" Ron mused as he was suppressing rage to cast crucio on Neville.

"No, I was wondering if you would come with me by the lake to collect my Transylvanian Water Turnips." Neville explained while twiddling his thumbs.

"Sure, I'll come now." Ron replied sarcastically but Neville didn't seem to mind as he eagerly scurried towards the Black Lake.

Ron strode past the bushes and saw Neville examining an odd cabbage.

"Ron, this is the Transylvanian Water Turnip! They're extremely rare." By the look on Neville's face Ron would think he broke into Harry's vault at Gringotts and got away with it.

"Great Neville and while you stare at it, I'll relax over here." Ron remarked to a dismissive Neville. Ron just about got comfortable leaning against a tree when he heard a voice shout.

"Levicorpus!" Ron's eyes shot open as his ankle was swung upward. It was Harry who was red in the face and seemed to be trying to control his temper. Voldemort was dead so that was out of the question, so what had his knickers in a twist?

"Oi drink too much Butterbeer Harry?" Ron snapped as he broke free of the spell. Harry ignored Ron and snarled at him his eyes were oddly tearing.

"How could you _not_ tell me, Ron? Why didn't you tell me you were going to St. Darren's, I'm your best friend?"

Ron was silent his eyes fixated on his shoes then he stared at Harry straight in the eye. Harry saw that Ron was past furious. He seemed to be exploding with anger, but what came out of his voice was something else.

"Harry I knew you rode a Hypocrite, but I never knew you was one." Ron muttered darkly staring Harry down. Harry quickly composed himself and snapped back.

"I rode a _Hippogriff_ not a hypocrite. What did I do?" Harry exclaimed as Neville watched with horror as Ron pulled out his wand.

"You _lied_ to me, and yet you expect me to tell you everything." Ron spat pulling his right arm back. Harry quickly got into position for a duel. It was unavoidable since Harry casted levicorpus on Ron.

"W-what are you talking about Ron?" Harry cried out as Ron began encircling him like a cougar taking down his prey.

"I loved Hermione. I really loved her and I told you that. Now I hear _behind my back_ from Angelina and Katie that you two have been dating for a year!" Ron shouted and casted stupefy at Harry who casted protég-o last minute.

"R-Ron," Harry remarked seeing his best friend visibly _hate_ him. "I'm so sorry. I really care about you mate."

Harry, who expected Ron to stop, was flown backwards by a Patrificus totalus and Ron glared at Harry's temporary petrified body.

"_You must not tell lies Harry_, and save it for someone who cares." Ron started to walk away, but turned around and snapped. "By the way I leave in about two weeks."

Suddenly patrificus totalus gave away and Harry casted expelliaramus.

"Protego!" It was Hermione who saved Harry from getting socked in the face by Ron. Ron screamed at Hermione to back off and let Harry get what is coming to him.

"Ron _please,_ Ron, stop this madness right now!" Hermione pleaded as Ron pointed his wand hesitantly towards her protecting Harry. Ron knew he was being a prick, and he lowered his wand. Harry, however, misread his actions and casted stupefy.

A heavy weight rested on Ron's chest and Hermione was scolding Harry for ruining her breakthrough. Ron only felt anguish as he watched them give each other affectionate remarks at each other.

"Oi Potter have a taste of this! Incendio!" Ron screamed manically as Harry pulled Hermione closer to him; Harry quickly casted protégo at the last second to protect Hermione and himself. Ron could not hear Hermione's desperate pleas but only glared at Harry.

Ron remembered what Harry said when they uncovered the locket. _Hermione loves you. She loves me like a brother and I love her like a sister._

"Kiss my arse Potter!" Ron cried in anguish. "Bombarda maximus!" The ground exploded from under his feet and Neville cried out.

"OH NO, there's a cavern under you Ron!" Then he felt the ground slip away and he heard a distressed voice cry out.

Oh the irony of it all.

"Ron, no!" It was Harry who grabbed Ron's wrist before he can fall into the crevasse. Ron actually looked at Harry. His face was covered in dirt, grime and soot. Ron felt like a monster, and he almost ruined Harry's life.

"Harry," Ron remarked as Harry desperately clutched to Ron's wrist as he dangled at the edge. Hermione was unconscious and Harry's wand was sitting by the tree's roots. "Let me go Harry." Ron was shocked at the words that just slipped.

"No Ron, I won't." At this point Ron was crying. His transparent tears made wet trails down Ron's cheeks through the soot. Ron was sick of all this fighting and torment, Ron felt hollow and barren. He felt as if the wind could echo throughout his body like an empty glass bottle. Harry arm began to sting with the strain of Ron's weight. Ron simply released his grip on Harry's wrist but the strain of Ron's weight on Harry's arm was too great. Harry released Ron and watched his best friend fall into darkness.


	3. The Carcass and the Alliance

Ron felt as if he was floating underwater. He squeezed his eyes shut as he saw the light of the opening where Harry dropped him disappear. Ron wondered how it would feel to be splattered along the cave floor. Brains on the walls, guts and intestines hanging off the rocks, and worst of all _blood_ will be everywhere.

He could just picture Malfoy shouting with laughter. "Is _that_ Weasley?" Oh how he would shame his family. Before Ron could say his last words he fell on a large mass of fat.

"Ugh!" Ron was astonished to see that he had used Crabbe as a safety net. And rather than checking for a pulse Ron dusted himself off and headed down the direction that Crabbe had come.

Ron who had already forgotten Crabbe walked down the damp cave path and saw a familiar glisten of light.

"This is just _fabulous_, I duel my supposed best mate, lose the girl of my dreams, fall 10 stories, land on Crabbe, and end up in Dumbledore's tomb." Ron exclaimed analyzing his predicament.

"Oh well, move over big…yikes!" Ron cried as he foolishly removed the lid off Dumbledore's coffin. All he saw was gray skin clinging to the skeleton, white lifeless hair draped down his moth eaten robes. "The past months have not been kind to you headmaster…another thing we seem to have in common."

Ron climbed into the coffin and closed the lid in an attempt to escape the horror that became his world.

**Draco POV**

Bloody Snape, making me dust off Old Man's tomb…where is Crabbe? He said he'd be here by now, incompetent fool.

Draco saw the lid of the coffin move. He shook his head in disbelief. Draco began to dust off various objects that said how great the ol' geezer was. Then he heard snoring…

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Draco muttered before asking. "Headmaster, are you alive in there?"

A loud snore and a string of misunderstood words can from the coffin. Draco dropped his cleaning supplements and removed the lid.

WEASELBY WAS SLEEPING NEXT TO OLD MAN DUMBLEDORE?

"Are you kidding me?" Draco cackled clutching his stomach desperately. Ron awoke and blushed at the situation.

"Umm Malfoy?" Ron began and Draco ceased laughing to look up with him.

"What do you want, peasant?" Draco snorted with reluctance that masked his confusion.

"Can you be my new best mate?" Ron asked bracing himself for a hex.

…what just happened?.

"No." Said Draco definitely.

"Please!" Ron begged.

"Be gone!"

"No."

"Don't mock me!"

"_Don't mock me!_" Ron sneered enjoying the banter.

"Why are you here?" Draco snarled annoyed with the meaningless argument.

"I'm lonely."

"Get a prostitute." Draco offered attempted to dislodge the lonely Weasely boy from his life.

"Not _that_ kind of lonely!" Ron protested with a blush.

"_Then what do you want, you pathetic cockroach?_" Draco cried exasperated.

"I hate Harry and Hermione and I want you as my BFF." Ron replied nervously yet confidently.

Draco seemed extremely confused but saw this as an opportunity to mock Potter as he stood. Draco also realized that perhaps he and the Weasley boy weren't so different and were connected by their hatred of Harry Potter.

"Alright, but we are taking it slow. It is kind of weird." Draco submitted with a small smile.

"It's Ron, not Weasley, Weasel-by or Weasel King." Ron remarked seriously.

"You brought that onto yourself." Draco retorted quickly finding it quite easy to speak to Weas—Ron.

**Ron POV**

Draco was right. I decided to impress Hermione by doing Quidditch. Epic Fail and I got Lavander Brown on my arm.

"Hey, let us not mention this to anyone." Ron offered nervously and to his surprise Draco nodded solemnly.

"Deal, but you just never mention the fact that I _dusted_." Draco compromised his eyes hard handling this deal with expertise.

Ron grinned and shook Draco's hand symbolizing that he accepted Draco's terms.

As they shook an idea came into their heads and they nodded showing that they decided it was a good idea.

_**Now it was time to get back at Harry and Hermione.**_


	4. Finally Gone

**Harry POV**

Harry was relieved that Ron was alive but there was a different air about him. It was something more haughty and proud than before. Hermione was worried that we had offended Ron by not telling him that we were dating.

But Harry was sure that's not the case.

"Hermione, have you seen Ron?" He asked kissing her. She shook her head gently and replied looking up from her newspaper.

"I haven't seen him all day. Not at breakfast or lunch!" Harry frowned concern swelling up inside him like a mosquito bite.

Then he saw Ron…strutting down the halls with DRACO MALFOY!

Was Ron cursed or was Draco? Had they lost their minds?

Gryffindor and Slytherin stood paralyzed in shock as Ron and Malfoy walked by in matching _expensive_ clothes. Fred and George nearly fainted at the sight of their little brother.

Oh my God, this is odder than Voldemort in pink ballerina tights…

**Ron POV**

The look on Harry and Hermione's faces was _priceless_!

This plan is turning out _exactly_ how Mal—Draco predicted.

He checked his calendar and realized that he had two days—wait—one before he had to leave to go to St. Darren's.

"Ron?" He looked up to see Harry and Hermione…_holding hands_.

"Your majesty?" Ron mocked and Hermione winced knowing she used that reply to Ron before.

"We were wondering why you were with Malfoy today. Not fighting or harming each other." Harry spoke up defending Hermione from Ron's fury that surely would overpower Dolores Umbridge.

"He's my _best_ mate." Ron answered curtly ignoring Harry's polite tone by responding with a cold iron voice.

"_I'm_ your best mate." Harry corrected looking confused; Hermione paled noticing that Ron's hurt went past the point of an apology.

"No Harry, you stopped being my best mate when you lied about your relationship with Hermione. I hope you know that my sister, Ginny, is—was in love with you." Ron snapped losing his cool for a moment. Their eyes faltered and Harry cleared his throat.

"I don't like her like that."

"So in sixth year when you had the Half-Blood Prince's book and you kissed her. That didn't mean anything to you?" Ron's voice was breaking with anger and anguish for Ginny.

"R-Ron, I'm so sorry…I never wanted to—" Harry began but Hermione cut him off.

"I love Harry, and I don't care about Ginny's feelings at the moment because eventually she will need to accept the fact that we love each other. That goes for you too Ron, it shows that we care."

"Then I don't care. People who care don't make their best mates feel like fools when they do find out. No matter what Malfoy did could _never_ compare with what I felt when I found out." Ron's voice was like a child's now.

Ron walked out of the room. He heard Hermione break into tears and Harry punched the wall.

THE NEXT DAY

The cold dew of the grass chilled Ron's ankles and he waited for his ride to St. Darren's. It was around 4 AM. And the cold was bitter; Ron endured knowing that Hermione and Harry would wait for him inside the castle.

"Mr. Ronald Bilius Weasley?" A man riding a carriage questioned. Ron nodded shaking the man's hand.

"I'm Ron, Ron Weasley." The man smiled and introduced himself.

"I'm Ralph, Ralph Petridge. I'm the Dragon Taker at St. Darrens." He gave a toothless grin.

The ride was short mostly because he drove the carriage to a Portkey which was a statue of television remote. Ron nodded at Ralph and they both caught onto the portkey.


End file.
